Hello, I'm Baymax, your healthcare companion.


I bring iPod back from America and I get my neighbor iPod mini... because it is for girls!


Don Corleone: I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life - I don't apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don't apologize - that's my life - but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string. Senator Corleone; Governor Corleone. Well, it wasn't enough time, Michael. It wasn't enough time.
Michael: We'll get there, pop. We'll get there.

If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.

Skinny Pete

Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like
Jimmy Two Times: I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.

I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig.


Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick?

Dale Doback

Max: I was a protege of the great Boris Tomashevsky. He taught me everything I know. I'll never forget, he turned to me on his death bed and said: "Maxella, alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a gentzen kachen!"
Nun: What does that mean?
Max: Who knows, I don't speak Yiddish. Strangely enough, neither did he. But in my heart, I knew what he was saying. He was saying when you're down and out and everybody thinks you're finished, that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout: "Who do you have to fuck to get a break in this stinking town?"

Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.

Young Murph: Dad, why did you and mom name me after something that's bad?.
Cooper: Well, we didn't.
Young Murph: Murphy's law?
Cooper: Murphy's law doesn't mean that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen.

Now I want you to take a step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of bullshit you're trying to pull here, but Asian Jack is my territory and if you're thinking otherwise, you've better to think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head out there and I will bring a Godly fucking fire upon you! I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

Les Grossman

J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.

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