Karen Eiffel: I went out... to buy cigarettes and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick.
Penny Escher: Buying cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: As I was... when I came out of the store I... it came to me.
Penny Escher: How?
Karen Eiffel: Well, Penny, like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.

Penny Escher: I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick.
Kay Eiffel: And this coming from someone who's never thought about leaping off a building.

Obi-Wan: I will never join you, Dooku.
Count Dooku: It may be difficult to secure your release.

I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.

Agent Smith

If he'd just pay me what he's spending to make me stop robbing him, I'd stop robbing him.

Butch Cassidy

If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

Warner Huntington III

If I'm being completely honest, he does have these amazing balls that I just love to play with. They're firmer and fuzzier. [looks around] Tennis balls! He's my tennis partner!

Tracy

Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.

If there's something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.

Ben Gates

[to Keith Frazier] If this goes down wrong, they're gonna dump this whole mess in your lap.

Det. Bill Mitchell

If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

Barry the Baptist

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