My god. Do we really suck or is this guy really that good?

Mr. Hertz

[Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.

Elliot

Strap, in for Everett. Don't shoot the ball unless you're under the basket all by yourself!

Coach Norman Dale

If you are going to kill me, kill me dead!

Nykwana Wombosi

Call me when you want to start taking things a little more seriously.

The Joker

When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.

The Sphinx

William: I'm Ulrich von Leichtenstein, from Guilderland, and these are my faithful squires.
[gestures to Roland]
William: Delves, of Dogington,
[gestures to Wat]
William: and Falhurst, of Crew.
Chaucer: I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!
[William draws a large knife]
William: All right, hold your tongue sir, or lose it.
Chaucer: Now you see *that* I do believe, Sir Ulrich.

Hunter: Captain, National Military Command Center knows what sector we're in. They have satellites looking down on us to see if our birds are aloft and if they're NOT, then they give our orders to somebody else. That's why we maintain more than one sub, it's what they call redundancy!
Capt. Ramsey: I know about redundancy, Mr. Hunter.
Hunter: All I'm saying... all I'm saying Captain, is that we have backup. Now it's our duty, not to launch until we can confirm.
Capt. Ramsey: You're presuming we have other submarines out there, ready to launch. Well as Captain, I must assume our submarines could've been taken out by other Akulas. We can play these games all night, Mr. Hunter, but, uh, I don't have the luxury of your presumptions.

William Parrish: Do you know about money?
Joe Black: It can't buy happiness?

You can cross that one off your bucket list.

Mrs. Stainer

Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.

Valentine McKee

Gretta: I told you, I write songs from time to time.
Dan: What do you write them for?
Gretta: What do you mean what for? For my pleasure. And for my cat.
Dan: Oh really? Does he like them?
Gretta: She. Yes, she seems to.
Dan: How do you know?
Gretta: Because she purrs.
Dan: Maybe she's booing.
Gretta: No, she purrs at Leonard Cohen, too, and she has very good taste.
Dan: Maybe she's fucking with you.

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