[to the mirror's reflection of his 13-inch penis] I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star.... I am a big, bright, shining star. Yeah, that's right.

Dirk

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

For what it's worth, I enjoy talking to you more than anyone else.

Carter Duryea

Boss: Sorry, Luke. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that.
Luke: Nah - calling it your job don't make it right, Boss.

I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?

John Dillinger

Put him on the phone, bitch!

Meg

Johnny Cash: Looks like we're here.
June Carter: Oh, thank goodness. Get me outta this car with all these boys.

Arley: Jesus, you are really somethin'.
Eugene: Thanks. I appreciate the euphemism. I always wanted to be somethin'.

There's only one Miss Piggy, and she is moi!

Miss Piggy

Narrator: Oh, yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody.
Chloe: Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No-one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrate...

Kaa: [after being hit by Bagheera] Ooh, my s-s-sinus. You have just made a s-s-s-serious mistake, my friend. A very s-s-s-stupid...
Bagheera: N-n-now, Kaa, I was...
Kaa: ...mis-s-stake. Look me in the eye when I'm speaking to you.
Bagheera: [has one eye closed to avoid being hypnotized] No, please, Kaa...
Kaa: Both eyes, if you please.
Kaa: You have just s-s-sealed your doom.

[trying to pronounce his name] Wa... WwALL-E

WALL-E

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