Austin: All I said was: "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear so that Jake here thinks I'm telling you a secret, which will cause him to break into a hysterical confession where he actually reveals a big secret. Thus confirming everything I just whispered in your ear."

Ray Ferrier: [playing catch with Robbie] Mom says you got a report due on Monday?
Robbie Ferrier: Yeah, I've already written it, I just gotta finish typing it.
Ray Ferrier: Yeah, bullshit.
Robbie Ferrier: Yeah? So what do you know, Ray?
Ray Ferrier: Everything. Between me and my brother, we know everything.
Rachel Ferrier: What is the capital of Australia?
Ray Ferrier: That's one my brother knows.
Robbie Ferrier: I'm sure you've got a laugh out of the first hundred times you've told that one, Ray.
Ray Ferrier: Just do your report, we don't send you to school so you can flunk out.
Robbie Ferrier: You don't pay for it, Tim does.
Ray Ferrier: [hesitates furiously for a second, then throws the ball really hard at Robbie, Robbie catches it hardly] That's half of what I got.
Robbie Ferrier: You're an asshole.
[throws the ball hard at Ray]
Robbie Ferrier: I hate coming here.
Ray Ferrier: That why you act like such a dick?

Jake: Uh, Bob, about the money for tonight.
Bob: Oh, yeah... That's $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.

Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.

Kathryn

I did inhale because I thought 'What the hell, it's lit, it's in my hand, I'll inhale it.'

Tom Dobbs

Don Lockwood: Cosmo, call me a cab.
Cosmo Brown: OK, you're a cab.

Dark Helmet: What did you do? You turned it off!
Colonel Sandurz: Turned off what? I just turned off the screen.
Dark Helmet: No, you didnt! You turned off the movie!

[adjusting the collar of Guido's suit] You're a world class liar, darling. Go out there and lie for Italy. Lie for Italia.

Liliane La Fleur

Fucking dog. Fucking coach. Fucking Americans.

Paul

I know what he did to you. Bella, I won't ever hurt you.

Jacob

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.

What's the matter Sidney? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Billy

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