Shut your pie hole!

Col. Quaritch

It’s just drinking games and bonding, why is that so painful for you?

Jenko

I'm a producer because I don't play bass, baby.

Dan

Ben Wade: Women will do things you'd never imagine.
Doc Potter: They'll give you a disease you'd never imagine.

Pop Fisher: Come on, Fowler! Throw strikes!
Red Blow: Fowler's killing worms, Pop.

A new era has begun. The age of the Transformers is over...

Harold Attinger

Rosco: What's your name?
Don Lockwood: Don Lockwood sir, but the fellas all call me Donald.
Rosco: Wise guy, eh? All right, get this guy into Bert's suit! And remember Lockwood, you might be trading that fiddle in for a harp!

[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.

Fat Bastard

Be excellent to each other. ...And... party on, dudes!

Abraham Lincoln

[to the mirror's reflection of his 13-inch penis] I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star.... I am a big, bright, shining star. Yeah, that's right.

Dirk

Judge Smails: I demand satisfaction.
Al Czervik: Yeah, well I'll tell you what's satisfying: *cash*. I'll shoot you 18 holes for ten thousand bucks.
Judge Smails: I could beat you with one good arm.
Al Czervik: Well, how about teams, then. I'll take Ty here, and you can have Dr. Frankenputz.
Dr. Beeper: I beg your pardon.
Ty Webb: Judge, Al, I don't play golf... for money... against people.

Miles Raymond: This weekend is not about me. It is about you. I'm gonna show you a good time. We're gonna drink a lot of good wine. We're gonna play some golf. We're gonna eat some great food and enjoy the scenery and we are going to send you off in style, mon frere.
Jack: And get your bone smooched.

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