Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...

Les Grossman

We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturalist.


Biff Tannen: Where is he?
CPR Kid: Who?
Biff Tannen: Calvin Klein.
CPR Kid: Who?
Biff Tannen: The guy with the hat. Where is he?
CPR Kid: Oh he went that way. I think he took your wallet!
[to camera]
CPR Kid: I think he took his wallet.

Dodge this.


You're in terrible danger, girl!

Tall Ghost Girl

"Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk."


How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?


That semester at junior college sure didn't make you any smarter.


His crime wasn't taking time. He was giving it away.

Raymond Leon

Brody: [Drunk] I'm tellin' ya, the crime rate in New York'll kill you. There's so many problems, you never feel like you're accomplishing anything. Violence, rip-offs, muggings... kids can't leave the house - you gotta walk them to school. But in Amity one man can make a difference. In twenty-five years, there's never been a shooting or a murder in this town.
Hooper: Fascinating. Want a pretzel?
Brody: Where are we?

Jake Oleson: I saw them feeding on Grandma Helen. I saw their teeth. They're like, vampires, you know?
Stella Oleson: Vampires don't exist, Jake.

I'm going off the grid. No more Franchises, no more botox, no more "Hey, oh, lets clone another goat," and certainly no more sexual harassment lawsuits, what's wrong with saying "Hey, nice tits." When did that go out the window?

Uncle Ben

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