That is a sucker punch to the gonads.

Maxwell Smart

Lydia: Those three idiots crashed the party!
Mac: Who? The Kardashian girls?

We fight and then we fuck, that's our thing.

Rosalyn Rosenfeld

Forget everything you've seen on television and in the movies.

Joe Miller

Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

[after Grant kills a look-a-like Bond] Exactly one minute, fifty-two seconds. That's excellent.


Sorry about your crew, but as we say on Earth, c'est la vie.


I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

Chip Douglas

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.


Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this?
Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!

No matter where you go... No matter what you do... I will hunt you down. I will hunt you down and when I find you, I'm gonna cut you open and eat your mother fucking heart!

Jake Mazursky

John: So, what do you reckon to our new Prime Minister, then?
Judy: I like him. Can't understand why he's not married, though.
John: Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket.

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