People say Intelligent Design, we must teach Intelligent Design. Look at the human body, is that intelligent? You have a waste processing plant next to a recreation area.

Tom Dobbs

Whit: I actually ran the London Marathon
Dennis: Oh that's a coincidence.
Whit: Why's that?
Dennis: Oh, I watched it on the tele... well... the last hour... I sleep in on Sundays.

George: Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.
Annie: Dad!
George: [shrieks in embarrassment] Seat belt! I meant, I meant seat belt.

D-Bob: Are you learning stenography or something? Everything he's mouthing is in the goddamn book.
Rudy: I gotta make an A in this class.
D-Bob: Just remember "Sitz im Leben" and it shouldn't be a problem.

God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

Dewey Finn

Anita Miller: All the kids make fun of him. They call him the Narc behind his back.
Elaine Miller: What's a narc?
Anita Miller: It's a narcotics officer.
Elaine Miller: Well, what's wrong with THAT?

[to Big John Brittle] I like the way you die, boy.

Django

Now you listen to me, you smooth talking son-of-a-bitch. Let me lay it on the line for you and your boss, whoever he is. Johnny Fontane will never get that movie. I don't care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork.

Jack Woltz

Thurgood Jenkins: Guys just shut up about the weed for two seconds, I don't want this girl to know I smoke.
Scarface: Yeah it's bad enough you a janitor yo.
Thurgood Jenkins: Custodian, dick!

Karen Kelly: How are things going there?
Peyton Kelly: Terrific, the food's not all that great, but my room is huge.

Dr. Mainheimer: It's a terrible thing that's happened here, Lieutenant. I do hope you will find the people responsible.
Lt. Frank Drebin: I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic, Doctor, but we've got a long road ahead of us. It's like having sex. It's a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.

I'm gonna break your face!

Scotty

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