Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?

Prince Akeem

[Mr. Kwai is about to shoot Frank]
Frank: I'd rather see it coming.
Mr. Kwai: Makes no difference to me.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Dean Vernon Wormer

If I were here to kill you, you would already be dead.

Mr. Earl Brooks

Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car?
Ralph: I think... both.

Ronnie: It reeks in here!
Kale: What's it smell like?
Ronnie: The corpse of a rotting hottie.

You took the purest thing in your life and corrupted it, for what? For what?

Pete Bell

Jack: Jill this is Otto.
Otto: Nice to meet you.
Jill: (Yells) :Nice to meet you! He's homeless, right?
Jack: Are you whispering with a bull horn or something? Everybody hears you.

With the slightest disturbance, the dream's going to collapse.


If you were a dork you should say you're sorry. Girls like that.


Edith: It was your cousin's idea!
Dave the Minion: *What*?

Susan Pevensie: Oh no! Pretend you're talking to me!
Edmund Pevensie: We *are* talking to you.

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