Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point...

Five years ago... A virus escaped, and everybody died.

Alice

There is no remainder in the mathematics of infinity.

Bernard Jaffe

Ray Charles: Well is your mother here?
Margie Hendricks: No she's not, but I speak for us.
Ray Charles: Okay Speak For Us, how about $20 a week.
Margie Hendricks: We'll take $40. Each.
Ray Charles: Forty each?
Margie Hendricks: You heard me!
Ray Charles: Naw! How about $25.
Margie Hendricks: We'll take $30.

Sorry about that, needed to let off a little steam.

Harry Hart

Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone: It's doggie style. We don't have to go outside or anything.

C-3PO: I do believe they think I am some kind of god.
Han Solo: Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?
C-3PO: I beg your pardon General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper.
Han Solo: Proper?
C-3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.

Jason Gibbons: So when do I get to meet this Charlie.
Alex: Well, Charlie's not a very social person.
Jason Gibbons: But Charlie's a chick right? I mean, she's definitely a woman?

Sarah Marshall: Do you want to put some clothes on!
Peter Bretter: Oh, would you like to pick out the outfit that you break up with me in!

Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
Greg the Soccer Player: [turning around] That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: [yelling] People don't forget!

Four times... it means something, David.

Julie

Who the hell was eating that turkey ass?

Rasputia

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