Jonathon "Mox' Moxon: The male erection. Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack's magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger... oh, and a pedro.
Miss Davis: ...a pedro?
Mox: yeah, uh huh.

Last I heard, my gym makes money. Yours doesn't. My gym's worth over $4 million. Your gym isn't worth four. I have shareholders. You haven't even got cup holders.

White Goodman

Well, it's Groundhog Day... again... and that must mean we're up here at Gobbler's Knob waiting for the forecast from the world's most famous groundhog weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil, who's just about to tell us how much more winter we can expect.


Kumar: Those kids put something in here.
Harold: Is it drugs? Is it semen?
Kumar: Doesn't taste like semen...

Hollis Elmore: If this Israel really is the great whale of snitches, then what are we doing messing with the mob, who are correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they're gonna pour boxes of bullets into his ass?
"Pistol" Pete Deeks: [agitated] Here we go.
Hollis Elmore: What incentive is there, to track him on something small time is a fucking skip trade?

Ray: What are they doing over there? They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken: Ray...
[Ray runs off and watches Jimmy being instructed by the director, who Jimmy flicks off as soon as he leaves]
Ken: Ray, come on. Let's go.
Ray: My ass let's go. They're filming midgets.

Elijah Price: Why is it, do you think, that of all the professions in the world you chose protection?
David Dunn: You are a very strange man.

[Running] Okay, what am I doing? I'm chasing this guy. Nope. He's chasing me.

Leonard Shelby

Jimmy: Meet your groomsmen!
Doug Harris: These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!

President Andrew Shepherd: If Mary hadn't died, would we have won three years ago?
A.J.: Would we have won?
President Andrew Shepherd: If we had to go through a character debate three years ago, would we have won?
A.J.: I don't know. But I would have liked that campaign. If my friend Andy Shepherd had shown up, I would have liked that campaign very much.

Agent Brown: What were you doing?
Agent Jones: He doesn't know.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.


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