The Dude: Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.
Nihilist: Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.
Nihilist #2: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
Nihilist #3: Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
The Dude: You don't HAVE the fucking girl, dipshits! We know you never did!

Kumar: Roldy! Roldy! dude, you gotta come quick. There is these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us!
[silence]
Kumar: I mean... duh... that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I.

Lets get 'em boys!

Billy Boy

Lelaina: I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something.
Troy Dyer: Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that.

Merrill: Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like 30 now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it 25 years ago and new nerds are doing it again.
Graham Hess: Its just static, Morgan. Frequency.
Morgan: It's a code.
Bo: Why can't they get girlfriends?

We will pass through the American patrols, past their sonar nets, and lay off their largest city, and listen to their rock and roll... while we conduct missile drills.

Captain Ramius

I'm not sorry.

Ward Abbott

Some labels are best left in the closet

Carrie Bradshaw

Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

Harry Doyle

Dolores Umbridge: [as the centaurs are taking Umbridge away] Please, tell them I mean no harm.
Harry Potter: Sorry, Professor, but I must not tell lies.

The phone! The phone! Where's the fucking phone?

Beth

This is Grade A 100 percent pure Colombian cocaine, ladies and gentlemen... Disco shit... Pure as the driven snow.

George

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