Jack: Sorry. You just seemed like kind of an indoor girl. Anyway, I fell through some thin ice and I'm telling ya, water that cold, like right down there, it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breathe. You can't think. At least not about anything but the pain. Which is why I'm not looking' forward to jumping in there after you. But like I said, I don't have a choice. I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the railing and get me off the hook.
Rose: You're crazy...
Jack: That's what everybody says. But with all due respect miss, I'm not the one hanging over the back of a ship here. Give me your hand. You don't want to do this. I'm Jack Dawson.
Rose: Rose De Witt Bukater.
Jack: I'm gonna have to get you to write that one down.

Hey, come on! I'll show you where my dad keeps his gun. Come on!

Teenage Boy Ghost

Commodus: You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues. Wisdom, Justice, Fortitude and Temperance. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, father. Ambition, that can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness. Courage. Perhaps not on the battlefield, but there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family, to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then, it was as if you didn't want me for your son.
Marcus Aurelius: Oh, Commodus, you go too far.
Commodus: I searched the faces of the gods for ways to please you, to make you proud. One kind word, one full hug while you pressed me to your chest and held me tight, would've been like the sun on my heart for a thousand years. What is in me that you hate so much?

I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken. Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison - suspended sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool. And those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, for justice, we must go to Don Corleone.

Bonasera

[Mike gets Nikki's machine at 2:30 in the morning]
Mike: Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike. I met you at the, um, at the Dresden tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time...and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 213-555-4679 -
[beeps]
Mike: [calls back] Hi, Nikki, this is Mike again. I just called 'cause it sounded like your machine might've cut me off when I, before I finished leaving my number. Anyway, uh, and, y'know, and also, sorry to call so late, but you were still at the Dresden when I left so I knew I'd get your machine. Anyhow, uh, my number's 21--
[beeps]
Mike: [calls back] 213-555-4679. That's it. I just wanna leave my number. I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate, or... we should just hang out and see where it goes cuz it's nice and, y'know, no expectations. Ok? Thanks a lot. Bye bye.
[hangs up]
Mike: [walks away, then walks back and calls again] I just got out of a 6-year relationship, Ok? That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry... This is Mike.
[hangs up]
Mike: [calls back] Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just call me when you get in? I'm gonna be up for awhile and I'd just rather speak to you in person instead of trying to fit it all into-
[the machine beeps]
Mike: Fuck! [calls back] Uh, Nikki? Mike. It's uh, uh, it's just, uh, this just isn't working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through, alright? It's uh... it's only been 6 months-
Nikki: [picks up] Mike?
Mike: Nikki? Great! Did you just walk in or were you listening all along?
Nikki: Don't ever call me again.
Mike: Wow. I guess you're home.

President Andrew Shepherd: I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character. And wave an old photo of the President's girlfriend and you scream about patriotism and you tell them, she's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through school, represent the interests of public school teachers, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources. You want a character debate, Bob? You better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league.

Lyle: [Handsome Rob approaches Becky, the cable technician, in the parking lot. Lyle watches, amazed] Are you kidding me? How does he do that? How do you do that? What are you saying?
[Lyle narrates the conversation with alternating Handsome Rob and ditzy female voices]
Lyle: [speaking as Handsome Rob] Hey, how are you?
Lyle: [speaking as Becky] Oh, I'm good!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you. I'm Handsome Rob. And you are?
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, my name's Becky, but it's written on my shirt!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt, and your truck.
Lyle: [Becky] Perfect! I'll give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, you're so witty! Why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Yeah, you're not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [Becky] No.
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Perfect.

I don't give a shit about the barracudas, fuck it! I'm building it anyway.

Max Fischer

What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows.

Dumbledore

I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day "Armageddon" - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrongs and the discord; through all of the pain and the suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we all, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you.

President

Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet.
Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

Hitch

You can do it!

Rudy Giuliani

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