You only get one shot at life. Why waste it on sleep?

Graves

Y'know, they're hookers. So it's fine.

Ted

Uncle Frank: You got any friends, Andy?
Andrew: No.
Uncle Frank: Oh, why's that?
Andrew: I don't know, I just never really saw the use.
Uncle Frank: Well, who are you going to play with otherwise? Lennon and McCartney, they were school buddies, am I right?
Andrew: Charlie Parker didn't know anybody 'til Jo Jones threw a cymbal at his head.
Uncle Frank: So that's your idea of success, huh?
Andrew: I think being the greatest musician of the 20th century is anybody's idea of success.
Jim: Dying broke and drunk and full of heroin at the age of 34 is not exactly my idea of success.
Andrew: I'd rather die drunk, broke at 34 and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remembered who I was.
Uncle Frank: Ah, but your friends will remember you, that's the point.
Andrew: None of us were friends with Charlie Parker. *That's* the point.
Uncle Frank: Travis and Dustin? They have plenty of friends and plenty of purpose.
Andrew: I'm sure they'll make great school board presidents someday.
Dustin: Oh, that's what this is all about? You think you're better than us?
Andrew: You catch on quick. Are you in Model UN?
Travis: I got a reply for you, Andrew. You think Carleton football's a joke? Come play with us.
Andrew: Four words you will never hear from the NFL.
Aunt Emma: Who wants dessert?

He always said he wanted his ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain, but I wasn't sure where that was. I thought Brokeback Mountain might be around where he grew up. Knowing Jack, it was probably some pretend place, where bluebirds sing and there's a whiskey spring...

Lureen Newsome

So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.

Hitch

Shoeless Joe Jackson: The first two were high and tight, so where do you think the next one's gonna be?
Archie Graham: Well, either low and away, or in my ear.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: He's not gonna wanna load the bases, so look low and away.
Archie Graham: Right.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: But watch out for in your ear.

Melvin Udall: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were fifty.
Carol Connelly: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were kind, so so much for eyes.

Randal Graves: Some guy came into the store refusing to pay late fees. Said the store was closed for two hours yesterday. I tore up his membership.
Dante Hicks: Shocking abuse of authority.
Randal Graves: Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.

Boon: I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl.
Pinto: Look, you don't have to...
Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.
Katy: You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.
Boon: Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.
Pinto: Hey!
Boon: What'd I say?

Listen close, and listen hard / The tale of Violet Beauregarde / This dreadful girl she sees no wrong / Chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / She goes on chewing till at last / Her chewing muscles grow so fast / And from her face her giant chin / Sticks out just like a violin / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / For years and years she chews away / Her jaws get stronger every day / And with one great tremendous chew / They bite the poor girl's tongue in two / And that is why we try so hard / To save Miss Violet Beauregarde / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long.

Oompa Loompa

Detective James Carter: We need to get her to relax.
Chief Inspector Lee: Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
Detective James Carter: Lee!
Chief Inspector Lee: Only $9.95.

The game is tailored specifically to each participant. Think of it as a great vacation, except you don't go to it, it comes to you.

Jim Feingold

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