I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.

Polly Prince

Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray.
Ray: You said fuck.
Jerry Maguire: Uh... yeah... I...
Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.

Ten words exactly. After ten it's extra. You see, Daddy thinks of these things. If I had leprosy, there'd be a cable


I love your eyes. I even love... your mother.


Never show weakness, the only pain that matters is the pain you inflict.

Bud Kilmer

Jack Vincennes: Karen, this is Sid Hudgens of Hush-Hush Magazine.
Sid Hudgens: Hellooooo, Karen!
Jack's Dancing Partner: Hello yourself!

Hey, Sydney! I could be in Venice by five. I could do that.


Rita: Have you ever had déjà-vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?

Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back we should try to create an heir so a part of you would live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years we got a little... impatient. Dr Evil, I would like you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!
[Scott enters]
Dr. Evil: Hello Scott.
Scott Evil: Hi.
Dr. Evil: I'm your father. Dr Evil.
Scott Evil: I haven't seen you my whole life and now you just show up and *expect* a relationship? I hate you. What?
Dr. Evil: Can I have a hug?
Scott Evil: No.
Dr. Evil: Give me a hug.
Scott Evil: No way.

We present these honored badges to Lt. James "Rhodey" Rhodes and Tony Stark, who is of course a national treasure.

Senator Stern

Your fans never left you! The world hasn't forgotten!


When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up.


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