Boy #1: I hear she's an atheist.
Boy #2: What's that?
Boy #1: I don't know.

Willenholly: Oh my God. I'm paralyzed! That monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me! Oh sweet irony!
Justice: You're not paralyzed. It was just a tranquilizer.

Zack Mazursky: Marco
Julie Beckley: Polo
Zack Mazursky: Marco
Julie Beckley: [breathily] Polo
[they kiss]

Doyle Lonnegan: Your boss is quite a card player, Mr. Kelly; how does he do it?
Johnny Hooker: He cheats.

Eve Kendall: How do I know you aren't a murderer?
Roger Thornhill: You don't.
Eve Kendall: Maybe you're planning to murder me right here, tonight.
Roger Thornhill: Shall I?
Eve Kendall: Please do.

[to his parol officer] I broke down, I went and smoked with the kid that lives across the street from me.


William: I'll ride in his place.
Roland: What's your name, William? I'm asking you William Thatcher, to answer me with your name? It's not Sir William. It's not count, or duke or earl William. It's certainly not King William.
William: I'm aware of that.
Roland: You have to be of noble birth to compete!
William: A detail. The landscape is food. Do you want to eat or don't you?
Roland: If the nobles find out who you are there'll be the devil to pay.
William: Then pray that they don't.

Aunt Betty: Now Kate, we only want what's fair and what's fair is if Woody lends us back some money.
Kate Grant: You can all go fuck yourselves!

I Want To Tickle Your Belly Button... From The Inside.

Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger

Taggart: I got it! I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: How?
Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household.
Hedley Lamarr: ...Too Jewish.

I'm doing America a favor.


You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.


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