It's ok. I just hit my face!

Dudley Frank

Michael: Is that why you slapped my brother around in public?
Fredo: Aw, now that, that was nothin', Mike. Now, now, uh, Moe didn't mean nothin' by that. Sure he flies off the handle once in a while, but Moe and me, we're good friends, right Moe? Huh?
Moe Greene: I got a business to run. I gotta kick asses sometimes to make it run right. We had a little argument, Freddy and I, so I had to straighten him out.
Michael: You straightened my brother out?
Moe Greene: He was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time! Players couldn't get a drink at the table! What's wrong with you?
Michael: I leave for New York tomorrow, think about a price.
Moe Greene: Sonofabitch! Do you know who I am? I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!

[introducing Carol to Simon] Carol the waitress, Simon the fag.

Melvin Udall

I don't give a shit about the barracudas, fuck it! I'm building it anyway.

Max Fischer

Hermione: Look. Hagrid's our friend, why don't we just go and ask him about it?
Ron: Oh, that'd be a cheerful visit. "Ello Hagrid! Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"
[Hagrid has walked up behind them]
Hagrid: Mad and hairy? Yer wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya?
Ron, Hermione, Harry: No.

Carl Denham: I'll give you another thousand if we leave right now
Captain Englehorn: You didn't give me the first thousand yet
Carl Denham: Will you take a cheque?
Captain Englehorn: Do I have a choice?

Nothing is worth nothing.

Terry Benedict

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.

Agent Smith

It's a terrible thing, to outlive your entire family.

Laura Brown

Jane Smith: I told you to wait for my signal, you didn't wait for my signal.
John Smith: Well, I improvised.
Jane Smith: You deviated from the plan.
John Smith: The plan was flawed.
Jane Smith: The plan was not flawed.
John Smith: Anal.
Jane Smith: *Organized.*
John Smith: Jane, 90% of this job is instinct.
Jane Smith: Well, your instinct set off *every* alarm in the building!
John Smith: My instinct got the job done. It may not have been the Jane show...
Jane Smith: No, it was the John show: it was half-assed. Like Christmas, like our anniversary, like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present.
John Smith: Your *fake* mother's birthday present.
Jane Smith: The point is, you are *always* the first to break team.
John Smith: You don't want a team, you want a servant for hire.
Jane Smith: I want someone I can count on.
John Smith: [sigh] Jane, there's no error around you anymore.
Jane Smith: [pleased] Oh. OK, what is that supposed to mean?
John Smith: That means there's no room for mistakes, no mistakes whatsoever. No spontaneity. Who can answer to that?
Jane Smith: Well, you don't have to. Because this isn't even a real marriage.
[brooding silence]
Benjamin: [locked up in the back of the van, in a bewildered voice] *Who are you people?*
Jane Smith, John Smith: [yelling] Shut up!

Edward Lewis: How much for the entire night?
Vivian: Stay here? You couldn't afford it.
Edward Lewis: Try me.
Vivian: 300 dollars.
Edward Lewis: Done! Thank you. Now we can relax.

Well, you've done your job, so I don't suppose I can kill your wife Zenat. Although frankly I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.

Siegfried

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