Alarm Guy: So why do they call him "the Joker"?
Safecracker: I heard he wears makeup.
Alarm Guy: Makeup?
Safecracker: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.

Willard: Where you from? You talk funny.
Ren: I talk funny? You should hear you from my end.

Chicka, chicka, chickabee. / T'ee an me an t'ee an me. / Ressa, ressa, ressa me, / Chicka, chicka, chickabee.

Nell

Max: The Von Trapp Family Singers. Here are your names: Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl.
Gretl: Why am I always last?
Max: Because you are the most important.

I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.

Turk Malloy

President Andrew Shepherd: I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character. And wave an old photo of the President's girlfriend and you scream about patriotism and you tell them, she's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through school, represent the interests of public school teachers, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources. You want a character debate, Bob? You better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league.

I sure was surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked me for a ride home and ended up blowing me.

Paul Metzler

Hitch: Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.'
Albert: [making holding gestures at different levels] Okay... Friends. Ass. Me.

Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a *very* unique last name and Jack and I were wondering how to pronounce it?
Greg Focker: Oh, just like its spelt. F-O-C-K-E-R.
Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.
Jack Byrnes: Hmm, Focker.

Anna: Olaf! You're melting!
Olaf: Some people are worth melting for.... Just... maybe not right this second.

110. Get a job, punk.

Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris

Priest Vito Cornelius: Because it is evil, absolutely evil.
President Lindberg: One more reason to shoot first.
Priest Vito Cornelius: Evil begets evil, Mr. President. Shooting will only make it stronger.

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