Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

Judge Smails

[As Annie's teeth is blackened by what she is eating, looking like she is missing teeth]
Annie: I don't need dental work.
Lillian: You are right.
Annie: There is nothing wrong with my teeth.
Lillian: You are so beautiful. Will you marry me?
Annie: Yessss

Rusty Ryan: A doctor who specializes in skin diseases will dream that he has fallen asleep in front of the television. Later, he will wake up in front of the television, but not remember his dream.
Matsui: [to Linus] Would you agree?

We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little lives are rounded with a sleep.

Prospera

Chunk: [Buzz has just successfully made it to the window over the Caterpillar Room door, at sunset, and now he hears two voices approaching in the hallway below] Heh, heh heh heh... You think they had a fun playtime?
Twitch: Shh! They might hear you!
[Buzz hears giggling to his left and looks over to another doorway where Barbie and Ken are talking to each other]
Ken: Okay, now you start.
Barbie: I...
Ken: love...
Barbie: you! Oh!
Ken: See? That time I said "love"! Okay, now me first.
[Buzz gives them a strange look]
Barbie: [overlapping] Ooh! Okay okay okay...
Ken: I...
Barbie: love...
Ken: you! You see what I mean? It changes every time!
Barbie: [laughing] You are so smart!
[Twitch and Chunk pass them]
Twitch: [grabbing Ken's collar] C'mon, Romeo. We're late.

Dave Harken: You options are.
Dale Arbus: Legal options.
Dave Harken: JACK SHIT.
Dale Arbus: I heard Jack Lebowitz is that an attorney I'm going to write that down Jack Lebowitz.
Kurt Buckman: Got to be can we get his contact info please.

I've always thought a good lashing with a buggy whip would benefit you immensely.

Rhett Butler

Farva: It doesn't matter cause I'm going to win 10 million dollars.
Thorny: What are you going to do with 10 million dollars, and you can't say buy the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Farva: I'd buy a 10 million dollar car.
Thorny: That's fine I'd still pull you over.
Farva: Bull Shit. You couldn't pull me over, and even if you did I'd activate my car's wings and I'd fly away.
[pulls off ticket from cup and cola spills all over him from the hole behind the ticket]
Farva: Stupid burger punk!

Well, then you can inform Mr. Levin he'll be better off watching the fight in front of his television at home... Surely he must have HBO.

Terry

Andy Stitzer: Well, if you loved her so much, why did you cheat on her?
Jay: [sobbing violently] Because! Duh! I'm insecure! Can't you tell?

Jim Braddock: For two hundred and fifty dollars I would fight your wife!
Joe Gould: Now you're dreaming
Jim Braddock: ...and your grandmother, at the same time.
Joe Gould: Teeth in or teeth out?
Jim Braddock: Take 'em out!
Joe Gould: Then you're dead, you're down, you're gone, no chance!
Jim Braddock: Two hundred and fifty bucks?
Joe Gould: Two hundred and fifty bananas!
Jim Braddock: Joey!

FREE Movie Newsletter