Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

Hitch

David Shaw: What happens if the plan goes to hell?
Steven: It won't.

Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die.
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language.

You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?

Catherine

Caliban: Hast thou not dropped from Heaven?
Stephano: Out of the moon, I do assure thee.

Nick Van Owen: You looking for a problem?
Dieter: And I found you, didn't I?

Susan Parrish: What will we do now?
Joe Black: It will come to us.

Isis: Know what? She's right. See, then we'd be doing them a favor. Then they could feel good about sending raggedy Ann up here to jack us for our cheers.
Torrance Shipman: 'Raggedy Ann'?
Isis: Ugly redhead with a video camera permanently attached to her hand. Y'all been coming up here for years trying to steal our routines.
Lafred: And we just love seeing them on ESPN.
Torrance Shipman: What are you talking about?
Isis: 'Brr, it's cold in here, there must be some Toros in the atmosphere'? I know you don't think a white girl made that shit up. Our future service is over as of this moment.

Groovy.

Ash
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[narrating] When I was 16 years old, I fell in love.

Ted

Cole Sear: We were supposed to draw a picture, anything we wanted. I drew a man who got hurt in the neck by another man with a screwdriver.
Malcolm Crowe: You saw that on TV, Cole?
Cole Sear: Everyone got upset. They had a meeting. Mom started crying. I don't draw like that any more.
Malcolm Crowe: How do you draw now?
Cole Sear: Draw... people smiling, dogs running, rainbows. They don't have meetings about rainbows.

Lawrence Wetherhold: Why would you have a baby with me?
Janet Hartigan: Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.
Lawrence Wetherhold: Point taken.

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