Yeah, but it really doesn't matter if I do does it, 'cause you got a whole crop already lined up you fuckin' chicken hawk!

Derek Vinyard

Dori: Was that an earthquake?
Balin: That, my lad, was a dragon.

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: It's true. My surprises, they are rarely unexpected.

I need to speak to Caesar!

Malcolm

Darryl: [phone rings again] Yep?
Louise Sawyer: Darryl, this is Louise. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: Hey Louise!
Louise Sawyer: Hi. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: [so sarcastically, it exposes their cover] What? What are you talking about, there's no police here.

Berlin: Did I tell you that when you were circumcised they threw away the wrong part?
David Gale: Yes, I believe you mentioned it. It's called schmuck.
Berlin: What?
David Gale: Part of the foreskin they throw away after circumcision, I believe it is called schmuck.
Berlin: Aren't we so fucking clever.

Willy Wonka: My name is Willy Wonka.
Veruca Salt: Then shouldn't you be up there?
[points to stage]
Willy Wonka: Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?

[wakes Jim up from his dream by slamming his cane against his desk] Wake up, Mr. Carroll, it's later than you think!

Father McNulty

C'mon Meat, throw me that weak-ass shit!

Crash Davis

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Prepare to mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Port, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pray!
Recruits: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Order, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: At ease! Good night, ladies.
Recruits: Good night, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [to the watchman] Hit it, sweetheart.

You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!

Brennan Huff

Fight club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church.

Narrator

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