Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.

Loki

Olive: Why were you unhappy?
Frank: I fell in love with someone...
Grandpa [blows nose loudly]
Frank: ... who didn't love me back.
Olive: Who?
Frank: One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
Olive: Him? You fell in love with a boy?
Frank: Very much so.
Olive: That's silly.
Grandpa: There's another word for it...

When all this is over, you'll go back home driving Carla and your baby insane in your beige Volvo. And I'll be dead, or back in prison, which is the same thing.

John Mason

Larry, we're not electing the fucking Pope here. Just tell me who won.

Jim McAllister

Tony Montana: Hey, Frank, you're a piece of shit.
Frank Lopez: What are you talking about?
Tony Montana: You know what I'm taking about about, you fucking cockroach.

Raoul Duke: Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear!
Dr. Gonzo: Don't tell me these things. Not now man.

I'm very little! You cheat very big!

Short Round

This time they've crossed a fatal line.

Dwight McCarthy

Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. [pauses a beat] How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

Judge Smails

You put *your* junk in reverse!

Phil Foster

Bob Rogers, Jr.: I get the feeling we're gonna run into each other again and one of us could end up looking like shit.
Jack Ryan: I got a headstart on you in that department. It's not fair.

Elaine Miller: May I speak with William, please?
Sapphire: He's not here. I think he's in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?
Elaine Miller: No, this isn't Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know guys, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. You created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, and we're all looking out for him. He's doing a great job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And that's more than I've ever said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.

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