Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Street Vendor: Water?
Marcus Brody: No thank you, fish make love in it.

We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work.

Coach Boone

We're gonna need a script.

Lester Siegel

What do you call it when the assassins accuse the assassin? A lie. A lie and we have to be merciful.


Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.

Fogell: What's it like to have a gun?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.

Lou Loomis: What's the sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No bare feet.
Lou Loomis: [picks him up by the shirt collar] What's that sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: What's that mean?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: You owe me one gumball machine. What's that candy wrapper doing there? Well don't you see it? Well pick it up.

Whoever wields this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.


Woody: [Woody is trying to find directions to Andy's house on Bonnie's mother's computer. Suddenly a chat window pops up, and Woody reads the username of its sender] Who's "Velocistar237"...?
Trixie: [knocks woody aside and starts typing frantically] Oh! That's just a dinosaur toy down the street, that's nothing, let just take care of that.
[finishes typing]
Trixie: It's just a dinosaur!
Woody: All right...

Carol Connelly: Why can't I have a normal boyfriend? Just a regular boyfriend, one that doesn't go nuts on me!
Beverly Connelly: Everybody wants that, dear. It doesn't exist.

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