Why do I always have to sit next to the exes? Is this some kind of a hint, sweetheart? Anyway, shouldn't the exes have a table of their own, where they can all ex together in ex-quisite agony?

Sally

Mary Katherine Gallagher: So what really happened to your parents?
Slater: They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: That happens a lot.

That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!

Ace

Max: The Von Trapp Family Singers. Here are your names: Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl.
Gretl: Why am I always last?
Max: Because you are the most important.

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Re-peat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

Robert Angier: He's a dreadful magician.
Cutter: No, he's a wonderful magician. He's a dreadful showman.

Jenny Curran: You can't keep trying to rescue me all the time.
Forrest Gump: They was trying to grab you.
Jenny Curran: A lot of people try to grab me.

Dietrich: Dr. Jones, surely you don't think you can escape from this island?
Indiana: That depends on how reasonable we're all willing to be. All I want is the girl.
Dietrich: And if we refuse?
Indiana: Then your Führer has no prize.

Miranda: Well, come on Liz, I mean look, I don't know, what's going on with your hair here? It's like a science experiment back there. And I know you own contacts, you know. And you're wearing plastic shoes and, I mean, what's this shirt even made of?
Liz: It's flax.
Miranda: See, isn't that a food? You're wearing food!

We're not going to see Mother-Fucker Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.

Nick Hendricks

Ha ha ha! Hello, boys! I'm baaaaack!

Russel Casse

Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man. He's everywhere. In the White House... down the hall... Ms. Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!

Dewey Finn

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