Ratso Rizzo: I gotta get outta here, gotta get outta here. Miami Beach, that's where you could score. Anybody can score there, even you. In New York, no rich lady with any class at all buys that cowboy crap anymore. They're laughin' at you on the street.
Joe Buck: Ain't nobody laughin' at me on the street.
Ratso Rizzo: Behind your back, I've seen 'em laughin' at you, fella.
Joe Buck: Aw, what the hell you know about women anyway? When's the last time you scored, boy?
Ratso Rizzo: That's a matter I only talk about at confession. We're not talkin' about me now.
Joe Buck: And when's the last time you've been to confession?
Ratso Rizzo: It's between me and my confessor. And I'll tell ya another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. And for a stud in New York, that's a handicap.
Joe Buck: Well, don't talk to me about clean. I ain't never seen you change your underwear once the whole time I've been here in New York. And that's pretty peculiar behavior.
Ratso Rizzo: I don't have to do that kind of thing in public. I ain't got no need to expose myself.
Joe Buck: No, I bet you don't. I bet you ain't never even been laid! How about that? And you're gonna tell me what appeals to women!
Ratso Rizzo: I know enough to know that that great big, dumb cowboy crap of yours don't appeal to nobody except every jockey on 42nd Street. That's faggot stuff! You wanna call it by its name? That's strictly for fags!
Joe Buck: John Wayne! You wanna tell me he's a fag? I like the way I look. It makes me feel good. It does. And women like me, god-dammit. Hell, only one thing I've ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me. That's a really true fact. Ratso, hell: Crazy Annie, they had to send her away.
Ratso Rizzo: Then how come you ain't scored once, the whole time you've been in New York?
Joe Buck: 'Cause, 'cause I need management, god-dammit. 'Cause you stole twenty dollars offa me. That's why you're gonna stop crappin' around about Florida. And, and get your skinny butt movin.' And earn twenty dollars worth of management which you owe me.

"I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina."

Lou [on phone to an escort service]

Mrs. Kidman: Eli, do those girls go to your school?
Eli: Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.

For all the taxes we pay, you'd think they'd make it more difficult to hack into the police personnel file.

Marshall

[narrating] I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.

Cady

Briony Tallis, aged 13: Cee?
Cecilia Tallis: Yes?
Briony Tallis, aged 13: Why don't you talk to Robbie anymore?
Cecilia Tallis: I do. We just move in different circles, that's all.

[observing the Panic Room, with cameras and a steel door] My room! definitely my room!

Sarah

Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!

Conan

Susan Storm: You don't want to walk around on fire for the rest of your life, do you?
Johnny Storm: Is that a trick question?

Peter La Fleur: Hang on a second. You wanna become a cheerleader to prove you are not a loser?
Justin: Yeah. Why?
Peter La Fleur: Nothing. High school's changed a bit since I was a kid.

I'm very little! You cheat very big!

Short Round

That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.

Ted

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