Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?

Michael Corleone

Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards.

Van Wilder

So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.

King Jaffe Joffer

Jane Smith: That vacation in Aspen, you left early, why?
John Smith: Jean-Luc Gaspard.
Jane Smith: Damn, I wanted him.
John Smith: I got it.

Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Lady at bus stop: Austria.
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lady at bus stop: Let's not.

Frodo: Wait... there are markings. It's some form of Elvish, I can't read it.
Gandalf: There are few who can. The language is the that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.
Frodo: Mordor?
Gandalf: In the common tongue it reads "One Ring to Rule Them All. One Ring to Find Them. One Ring to Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them."

[Dana is possessed]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
[Dana starts passionately making out with him]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule...

Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether." With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln

He is my neighbor, Nushuktan Tulyiagby, he is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock-radio, he cannot afford. Great success!


Cake Decorator: Hey, aren't you that kid from Crocodile Tears?
Sandy Lyle: That's right. I'm Sandy Lyle.
Cake Decorator: Man I saw that movie in high school. That bagpipes scene, that was the funniest shit.
Sandy Lyle: Yeah, we had a good time on that picture. You want an autograph?
Cake Decorator: No, thanks. It's good to see you man. I thought you died like fifteen years ago.
Sandy Lyle: No. I'm very much alive, my friend.

John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.

I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

Fat Bastard

FREE Movie Newsletter