Woody: [in Bonnie's room; she is playing with her toys and Woody]
[voice box]
Woody: There's a snake in my boot!
[Bonnie pulls his string again]
Woody: I'd like to join your posse, boys, but first I'm gonna sing a little song.
Bonnie: A sheriff!
[she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals]
Bonnie: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants!
[she pushes him aside]
Bonnie: We have a guest!
[she hops from foot to foot]
Bonnie: You want some coffee?
[she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher]
Bonnie: It's good for you, but don't drink too much or you'll have to - Be right back!
[she runs out the door]
Woody: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Can you tell me where I am?
Mr. Pricklepants: Shh!
[he freezes again]
Buttercup: The guy's just asking a question.
Mr. Pricklepants: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character!
Buttercup: [to Woody] My name's Buttercup.
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Buttercup] Shh!
Trixie: I'm Trixie!
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Trixie] Shhh!
Trixie: [back at him] Shhh!
Woody: [waves his arms] Guys, hey! Look, I don't know where I am...
Trixie: We're either in a cafe in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey.
Buttercup: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun, and you'll be fine!

Edward Dalton: Is this place safe?
Elvis: Living in a world where vampires are the dominant species is about as safe as bare backing a 5 dollar whore.

Sundance Kid: Did you say they were hired permanent?
Etta Place: No, just until they kill you.

[the Spleen is shot in the rear]
The Spleen: I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS.
Invisible Boy: Does your power still work?
The Spleen: Uh-oh, weapons check. Pull my fingers.
[Invisible Boy pulls. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang]
The Spleen: It'll do.

Pyro: Nice helmet.
Cain Marko: It keeps my face pretty.

Sir Ivy: You see... this is one of the rare moments, where your ass gets to be completely honest... and if i'm asking you what you said to Mecklen, assume the shit is rhetorical, assume I already know.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: What do you see right now? You see exactly, and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion Ivy, that is the lie that I tell your eyes, makin' the magic happen, in the moment, in that split second... but seeing behind this motherfucker and knowing... that it's all bullshit.
Sir Ivy: Yeah, you on some bullshit.

Landon: What are you doing here?
Jamie: I could ask you the same question.
Landon: Do you normally walk alone in cemeteries at night?
Jamie: Maybe.

"I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina."

Lou [on phone to an escort service]

The event must've ended before we went out today.

Elliot Moore

Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker?
Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!

We are broke, that is my fucking problem and you are a fucking spy. That's right. Always spyin' always judgin'. Everyone's laughing in your face you fucking pussy. You let Diego fuck you in the ass. Maybe because you like it, maybe because you're a fucking fagot. That's what I think you are. I think you are really fuckin him cause you're not fucking me. Why's that? Why? Why don't you fuck me anymore. Don't you ever touch me again motherfucker. Don't ever put your hands on me again, asshole. Get your hands off me. He's a fugitive and a fucking cocaine dealer. He's got a kilo in his trunk right now.

Mirtha Jung

Meet you in Malkovich in one hour.

Maxine

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