Dave Kujan: Do you know a dealer named Ruby Deamer, Verbal?
Verbal: Do you know a religious guy named John Paul?
Dave Kujan: Did you know Ruby's in Attica?
Verbal: He didn't have my lawyer.
[narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.Lester Burnham
You know how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet.Cher
Petey Jones: Um, it WAS fun.
Coach Boone: Not anymore though, is it? Is it?
Petey Jones: Not right now, no.
Coach Boone: No, it's not fun anymore. Not even a little bit.
Petey Jones: Uh... no.
Coach Boone: Make up your mind. Think ,since you're thinking. Go on, think. Is it fun?
Petey Jones: No, sir.
Coach Boone: No? Absolutely not?
Petey Jones: Zero fun, sir.
Coach Boone: [addresses team] All right, listen up! I'm Coach Boone. I'm gonna tell you about how much... fun you're gonna have this season.
Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America!Bucky Larson
[about Dana, after Roy broke his nose]
Roy Eberhardt: I wrote him a note, that should be the end of it.
Garrett: A note? That's adorable. What did you say? "I'm sorry I smoked you. Please don't break every bone in my body. Please leave me one good arm so I can feed myself"?
Roy Eberhardt: You're hysterical.
Drug dealers of the world, unite!Franz Sanchez
[both have discovered that they were on the desert and one tried to kill the other]
John Smith: I missed you.
Jane Smith: I missed you too.
Sylvia: Any ideas when this wedding might happen? Grandparents do have a tendency to die.
Violet: Mom, they're all right there.
Sylvia: Well, for now...
Tank: I would kick you in the ass, but my foot might get sucked in.
Alexis: Well I would kick you in the dick, but my foot might get Herpes.
Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you oughta button these buttons, you look like you're asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!