Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun, Commander.
James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.

Dr. Gonzo: Cows are gonna kill me. Bisexuals are gonna kill me. Let's get out of here, where's the elevator?
Raoul Duke: No, fuck! Don't go near the elevator man, that's just what they want us to do. Trap us in a steel box, take us down to the basement. Come here. Don't run, man. They'd like any excuse to shoot us.

We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity.

Van Wilder

Radio Raheem: Give me 20 D Energizers.
Sonny: 20 C Energizers?
Radio Raheem: Not C, D.
Sonny: C Energizers?
Radio Raheem: D, motherfucker, D. Learn to speak English first, all right?
Kim: How many you say?
Radio Raheem: 20, motherfucker, 20.
Sonny: Motherfuck you.
Radio Raheem: Motherfuck you? You, you all right, man.

Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon. Like masturbating in an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, too.

May I take your trident, sir?

Arthur

Marty McFly: Do you mind if we... park... for a while?
Lorraine Baines: That's a great idea. I'd love to park.
Marty McFly: Huh?
Lorraine Baines: Marty, I'm almost 18 years old. It's not like I've never parked before.
Marty McFly: What?

I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!

Detective John Kimble

I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

Buddy

Sally Rose: Don't make this fight with him about me!
Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Don't treat him like a baby, give him his balls back!

Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why he was always going around wearing that crown-looking hat... he was the king of queen Archie's world.

Hooper

Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.

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