Stanley Goodspeed: How do you... do it?
John Mason: I was trained by the best. British intelligence. But in retrospect I would rather have been a poet. Or a farmer.
Stanley Goodspeed: Okay.

The enemy? His sense of duty was no less than yours, I deem. You wonder what his name is, where he comes from, and if he really was evil at heart. What lies or threats led him on this long march from home, or he would not rather have stayed there... in peace? War will make corpses of us all.

Faramir

Tomika: [explaining why she is nervous] They'll laugh at me.
Dewey Finn: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno... because I'm fat.
Dewey Finn: Tomika... Ok, you've heard of Aretha Franklin right? She's a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people's minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey Finn: Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I'm sexy, and chubby, man.
Tomika: Why don't you go on a diet?
Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?

This can't be good.

Sam Flynn

Marlin: They've just got to grow up some... THE DROP OFF? THEY'RE GOING TO THE DROP OFF? WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE? WHY DON'T WE FRY THEM UP NOW AND SERVE THEM WITH CHIPS?
Bob: Hey Marty, calm down.
Marlin: Don't tell me to be calm, pony boy.
Bob: Pony boy?
Bill: You know for a clownfish, he really isn't that funny.
Ted: Pity.

Crash Davis: It's time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time."
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Got to play... it's pretty boring.
Crash Davis: 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down.

Dan Devine: You all already know this, but this is the most important game of your lives. No excuses, do the work. Our lady of victory...
All: Pray for us!

Alpa Chino: That's the theme song for the Jeffersons!
Kirk Lazarus: Just because it's a theme song doesn't make it any less true.

It's called incest Arlene, and it's against the law

Betsy Jobs

Alan Bradley: I promised you that if I ever got any information about your dad, I'd tell you first, right? I was paged last night; came from your dad's office at the arcade.
Sam Flynn: So?
Alan Bradley: "So?" That number has been disconnected for twenty years! Two nights before he disappeared, he came to my house. He said he was about to change everything - science, medicine, religion. He wouldn't have left that, Sam. He wouldn't have left you.

Miriam Hart: No girls like her, she is distant, and basically the only people that want to hang out with her are older boys who want to fuck her.
Dan: Oh really? And you find that a big surprise? You let her walk out of the house looking like, fuck, Jodie Foster from Taxi Driver.
Miriam Hart: She dresses the way she wants to. And besides, any daughter who dresses like that only wants one thing.
Dan: A pimp?

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Everybody listen! We have to put a barrier between us and the snakes!

Neville Flynn

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