Hoover: Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.
Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.
Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.
Otter, Boon: Like Fred.

I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

Dorothy

Malik: Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack."

Audrey, good news, both my legs are broken so they can't take me straight to jail.

Fletcher

Ellis Loew: Pull him off me, Exley!
Ed Exley: I don't know how.
Bud White: Now, I know you think you're the A-number one hotshot. Well, here's the juice: if I take you out, there'll be ten more lawyers to take your place tomorrow. They just won't come on the bus, that's all!

Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What was that?
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

Zeke: [after Sharpay walks through the hall] I guess the ice princess has come back from the North Pole.
Chad: And back from what she always does.
Basketball team: Wheres that?
Chad: Shopping for mirrors.
Basketball team: Ooooh.

Templeton: You're a pig! Pig equals slop. The rat is happy!
Wilbur: My name's Wilbur! Do you have a name or is it just 'The Rat'?
Templeton: Did you say 'just the rat'? For your information, pig: The rat rules! We were here long before your kind and we'll be here long after. So, you just keep that in mind next time you feel like reducing me to just 'the rat'.
Wilbur: You called yourself 'The Rat'.
Templeton: I can call me that. You can't.

I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.

Stu

Find out! Find out!

Robert Ford

Rattlesnake Jake: [after Beans refuses to sign a deed] Sign the damn paper!
Beans: Go to Hell!
Rattlesnake Jake: [wraps Beans in his coils and suspends her upside down] Where do you think I come from?

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