Lady, you don't know shit about shit.

Billy Quinn

Bet ya that chick's two tons of fun. You know, the grateful type?

Jack

We made it! Oh shit!

Tyler

[after posing as Natasha's fiance] That was not my first kiss since 1945. I'm 95, I'm not dead.

Steve Rogers

Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.

Penny

Buck Swope: How's my little kung fu fighter?
Jessie St. Vincent: He's kicking ass inside my stomach.

Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.

Ernie McCracken

From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm gonna get you laid.

Jay

Zack Brown: Editor and DP, looks like you got your shit covered.
Deacon: Do not say 'shit covered' to me again.

Marlene: Ray, what did I tell you about cooking in the dark? Are you trying to burn the house down?
Ray Charles: Think about it, Marlene, what do I need the light for?

(Expletive) you science!

Jenko

The reality is we're still 11 year old boys locked in a cellar imagining what our lives would have been if we'd escaped.

Sean Devine

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