Eskimos seem nice.

Lou

Jay: So your in this for the pussy right?
Brent: No, I'm in this because I LOOOVE animals, stupid?
Jay: Even Sheep?
Brent: Of course. Sheep are beautiful creatures.
Jay: So would you fuck a sheep?
Brent: What is your damage, little boy. You have a sick and twisted world perspective.
Jay: No, you're misunderstaning me, Prince Valiant. I'm saying if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep, if you were another sheep?
Brent: Well, in that case, you bet your sweet ass I would.
Jay: Thought so.

Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Harry

Mitch: Please be honest with me. Tell me this is the first time this has ever happened.
Heidi: Well, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?

Brian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
Kenny: That's it?

"Band of Brothers" ... you should rent it sometime.

Gary

Hee hee hee. "Get her." That was your whole plan, huh, "get her." Very scientific.

Dr. Peter Venkman

Tess: My water just broke!
Griffin: All of it?

You've said it yourself a million times. If there had been a TV in every living room 60 years ago, this country does not elect a man in a wheelchair.

A.J.

Ray Charles: If I feel the music, that means it's real.
Quincy Jones: No, it ain't. Ray Charles is a sell-out. The blind Liberace, leaving those Rocking Chair roots behind.

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

[Discussing the Scottish rebellion] Who shall I sent to negotiate with this Wallace? Not my gentle son, his appearance would only encourage Wallace to move further into England.

Longshanks

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