[to his pet chimpanzee] I've had it with all this crap! All you care about is fruit and touching yourself. Well, fuck you!Dewey Cox
I've learned something from your idiotic notions, I confess that; humbly and gratefully.Professor Henry Higgins
Buzz: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great. If anyone attacks we can blink em' to death.
[Jane climbs a ladder]
Frank: Nice beaver!
Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.Fat Bastard
Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne!Noah Vosen
Jive ass turkey.Prisoner
Russell Ziskey: John, do you think I'm officer material?
John Winger: God, I'm worried about you.
Russell Ziskey: Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
John Winger: Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
Russell Ziskey: We've got each other.
Join the IMF and see the world. On a screen. From a closet.Benji Dunn
FBI Director Womack: Just clippers, no scissors.
Paul the Hotel Barber: No scissors, you've got to be kidding me, no scissors. I mean, did they tell Picasso "no brush"?
FBI Director Womack: With scissors, this man could kill you.
John Mason: I can't cut off anyone's balls with a trimmer, now can I? Why don't we do this outside? Get some sun.
Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?HAL
Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.Gib