Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.

Kenny Fisher

Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law.

Officer Michaels

We'll pay for your Viagra but not for your glasses. That way, you get a hard-on but can't see where to put it!

Tom Dobbs

Beth McIntyre: Good luck in Japan.
Rob Hawkins: [to Beth's date] Good luck tonight, Travis.

Howard Hughes: Will you marry me?
Ava Gardner: You're too crazy for me.

Raphael: Donnie!
Donatello: Batter up!

Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, okay?

Jacob: Who's the woman who works with the horses?
Camel: That ain't no woman, that's the boss' wife and she don't talk to nobody and you don't talk to her.

Meredith Vickers: Take us home!
Elizabeth Shaw: If we don't stop it, there won't be any home to go back to!

Cinderella:It was my mother's old dress.
Lady Tremaine: It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.

Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder?
Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"!
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks.
Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.

[preparing for the King's arrival] It costs a fortune to get this house ready for a royal visit!

Lady Elizabeth

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