Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!

I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. What's the nigger gonna do? He's Samoan.


Astrid: It's a mess. You must feel horrible. You've lost everything. Your father, your tribe, your best friend...
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up.
Hiccup: Why couldn't I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods? Would've been better, for everyone...
Astrid: Yep. The rest of us would have done it. So why didn't you?
Astrid: Why didn't you?
Hiccup: I don't know... I couldn't.
Astrid: That's not an answer.
Hiccup: *Why* is this so important to you all of a sudden?
Astrid: Because I want to remember what you say, *right now*.
Hiccup: Oh, for the love of... I was a coward! I was weak! I wouldn't kill a dragon!
Astrid: You said *wouldn't*, that time.
Hiccup: Agh, whatever... I *wouldn't*! Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon!
Astrid: First to ride one, though. So...?
Hiccup: I wouldn't kill him, because he looked as frightened as *I* was. I looked at him... and I saw myself.

If Aragorn survives this war, you will still be parted. If Sauron is defeated and Aragorn made king and all that you hope for comes true you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. And there will be no comfort for you, no comfort to ease the pain of his passing. He will come to death an image of the splendor of the kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Here you will dwell bound to your grief under the fading trees until all the world is changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent.


Aragorn: If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword...
Legolas: ...and you have my bow...
Gimli: ...and my axe.
Boromir: You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.

Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.

If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.

Angela Hayes

Bilbo Baggins: Could you tell the others I say goodbye?
Balin: Tell them yourself.
Bilbo Baggins: If you ever pass through Bag End, tea is at four. You are welcome ANY time. Don't bother knocking!

Willy Wonka: If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?
Mr. Teavee: What kind of question is that?
Willy Wonka: No need to snap. Just a question.

If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we're gonna be winners.

Coach Norman Dale

If you think for one moment I don't have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong.


Judah Ben-Hur: If you were not a bride, I would kiss you goodbye.
Esther: If I were not a bride, there would be no goodbyes to be said.

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