Ned Flanders: Ok, boys, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call Him Mr. Christ.
Todd Flanders: Will Buddha be there?
Ned Flanders: No.

I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School.

Cal

Nemo: Are you all right?
Dory: I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I... I can't remember... and I can't remember...
Nemo: It's okay, it's okay. I'm looking for somebody too. Hey, we can look together.
Dory: I'm Dory.
Nemo: I'm Nemo.
Dory: Nemo? ... That's a nice name.

Zeus: Why do you keep calling me 'Jesus'? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
John McClane: Guy back there called you 'Jesus'.
Zeus: He didn't say 'Jesus'. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
John McClane: Zeus?
Zeus: Yeah, Zeus. As in father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

I thought we'd be together only in death.

Latika

[to Anne] I have torn this country apart for YOU!

King Henry VIII

Joey LaMotta: Hey Jack, I just explained the whole thing to you didn't I. It was between me and Salvy. If it had anything to do with Vicki I would've told you about it.
Jake La Motta: That's not what I heard Joey.
Joey LaMotta: What do you mean that's not what you heard?
Jake La Motta: That's not what I heard.
Joey LaMotta: What did you hear?
Jake La Motta: I heard some things.
Joey LaMotta: You heard about me and Salvy.
Jake La Motta: I heard things Joey.
Joey LaMotta: Yeah you heard that I cracked Salvy all around. What did you hear?
Jake La Motta: I heard things Joey. I heard things.
Joey LaMotta: What things you heard?
Jake La Motta: I heard some things.

Don't give me no rules. All I got are rules.

Johnny Cash

In thirty days I'll be bulldozing that shit-heap you call a gym into permanent nothingness. And I can only hope that you, and the mongrel race that comprise your membership, are inside it when I do.

White Goodman

Jay: I am gonna hang your old ass by your turban.
Mooj: Oh, turban now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say 'Hey Jay, you want a slippy? You wanna slippy?' Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn, Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?

Alex: You are really good out there.
B. Rabbit: Where? In line at the lunch truck?

The only mistake I ever made was to appoint a sniveling little weasel like you Secretary of Defense. However, that is a mistake, I am happy to say, that I don't have to live with. Mr. Nimzicki... you're fired.

President Thomas Whitmore

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