Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs.


Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Mr. Walters

[putting his bag/mask on] Damn. I can't see fucking shit out of this thing.

Big Daddy

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.


[Quoting Ernest Hemingway] There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.

Harry Hart

Brian Madison: Remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock: r-o-k?
Billy Madison: Yeah, so what's your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohhh yeh! The c is silent.

Harvey Dent: Rachel's told me everything about you.
Bruce Wayne: I certainly hope not.

Narrator: [reading] I am Jack's colon.
Tyler Durden: I get cancer, I kill Jack.

[regarding Mystique] Such a shame. She was so beautiful.


Mr. Wong: Remember, black people run very fast. But problem run faster.
Norbit: ...That's kinda racist.
Mr. Wong: Yes, Wong very racist. Don't like black. Don't like Jew either. But black and Jew love Chinese food. Go figure.

Remember, Remember
The fifth of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.


Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Jenko: Mmmm-hmmm.
Schmidt: Right in the crack.

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