Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.

Ricky Fitts

Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.


Well, as soon as we get ourselves cleaned up and we get a little smellum in our hair, why, we're gonna feel 100% better about ourselves and about life in general.

Ulysses Everett McGill

Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.


Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.


Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Welln I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do!

Well, I still jerk off manually.

The Dude

Well I'd like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman.

Dusty Bottoms

Chili Palmer: [after seeing Raji in a Mink covered coat and hat] Well, if it isn't Flea Diddy.
Raji: Man, don't be comin' in here pretendin' you know anything about rap.
Chili Palmer: Oh, but I know more about rap than you do. I bet you don't even know who the Sugarhill Gang is.
Raji: But, I know who the Bust Da Cap In Yo Ass Gang is.

Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
Kid with Santa: Four.
Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
Kid with Santa: Paul.
Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.

We'll take one secret formula to go. Clear the area, citizens! There's gonna be some serious aft-kicking here!

SpongeBob SquarePants

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.


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