Second base... shit.Jake Taylor
All of you! Listen to me! You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale? Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm? And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a Mountain King, so riveted by greed he cannot see beyond his own desire!Bard the Bowman
Rabbi Jake Schram: Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be.
Father Brian Finn: Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be.
Carol Connelly: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...
Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.
I am a sexy beast.Austin Powers
Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.Austin Powers
I was a cop searching for a righteous cause.Max Rockatansky
Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.
Teddy: To set yourself a puzzle you won't ever solve. You know how many towns, how many guys called James G? Or John G? Shit, Leonard, I'm a John G.
Leonard Shelby: Your name's Teddy.
Teddy: My mother calls me Teddy. I'm John Edward Gammell.
Tricia Jones: Well! That was just another paean to male adolescence and it's refusal to grow up.
Alyssa Jones: Yeah, sis. But it was better than "Mallrats." At least Holden had the good sense to leave his name off of it.
Tricia Jones: Why didn't Miramax option his other comic instead. You know, the one about you and him and your "relationship" ?
Alyssa Jones: Oh, "Chasing Amy" ? That would never work as a movie.
And in the next life, father, I'M gonna have the PADDLE.Jim
[watching sexy girl wash a car] My Lord, whatever I done, don't strike me blind for another couple of minutes.Dragline