Dewey Cox: [singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.
Darlene: [singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.

Is that my sweet Rachel's voice I heard? Or am I just goin' meshuga?

Marilyn Hack

Bob walked right into the bar and shot at Corky, only he misses, 'cause he was so damn drunk he couldn't see straight. Old Corky went for his gun and got in such a hurry that he shot his own toe off. Bob shot at Corky again, and he misses again, because he's still so damn drunk. He hits this thousand-dollar mirror over the bar. And now, the Duck of Death is as good as dead. Because this time, Corky does it right. He takes careful aim, slowly squeezes the trigger, and... BAM! That Walker Colt he was carrying blew up in his hand, a failing common to that model. See, what I'm trying to tell you is if Corky really had two guns instead of a big dick, he'd be alive today.

Little Bill Daggett

[as Captain Kirk] Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from... total annihilation. SO FAR... no... signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've... GOT TO, MISTER.

Ace Ventura

Iosef Tarasov: That nobody?
Viggo Tarasov: That nobody is John Wick.
Iosef Tarasov: I'm not afraid of John Wick.
Viggo Tarasov: You should be. I once saw him kill three men with a pencil. A (expletive) pencil!

Bryan: Who killed Thursby?
Sam Spade: I don't know.
Bryan: Perhaps you don't, but you could make an excellent guess.
Sam Spade: My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to make guesses in front of a district attorney, and an assistant district attorney and a stenographer.
Bryan: Why shouldn't you, if you have nothing to conceal?
Sam Spade: Everybody has something to conceal.
Bryan: I'm a sworn officer of the law, 24 hours a day, and neither formality nor informality justifies you withholding evidence of crime from me. Except, of course, on constitutional grounds.
Sam Spade: [ranting] Now, both you and the police have as much as accused me of being mixed up in the other night's murders. Well, I've had trouble with both of you before. And as far as I can see my best chance of clearing myself of the trouble you're trying to make for me, is by bringing in the murderers all tied up. And the only chance I've got of catching them, and tying them up, and bringing them in, is by staying as far away as possible from you and the police, because you'd only gum up the works.
[turns to stenographer]
Sam Spade: You getting this all right, son, or am I goin' too fast for ya?
Stenographer: No, sir, I'm getting it all right.
Sam Spade: Good work.

You live, you die, you fight as brothers. Remember, nothing is as strong as family...

Splinter

Be clever, Miss. She'll never let you leave, even if you win the game.

Sweet Ghost Girl

Danny: Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society.
Tess: Funny, I never got a check.

Reporter: Chiles, who is your idol?
Chiles Stanton: Kelly Canter and Jesus Christ.
Beau Hutton: [to Kelly] You and Jesus Christ, who would have thought?
Kelly Canter: They love her.

Phew! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978!

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

Mac: [to Rabbit] Bite it, rook! You'll make him look like a dick!
Rabbit: Nah...
Captain O'Hagan: Every Thursday night I walk into the lodge to play Hearts...
Mac: Seriously, rook, bite it. Do it. Don't be a wuss!
Captain O'Hagan: ...and they always have my Old-Fashioned just waiting there...
Mac: Don't be a wuss, bite it!
Captain O'Hagan: ...I like that. I like it here...
Mac: Bite it. Bite it!
Captain O'Hagan: [Fed up] Oh, hell! Give me the goddamn soap!

FREE Movie Newsletter