Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?

President Skroob

John Mason: What exactly does this stuff do?
Stanley Goodspeed: If the rocket renders it aerosol, it could take out the entire city of people.
John Mason: Really? And what happens if you drop one?
Stanley Goodspeed: Happily, it'd just wipe out you and me.
John Mason: How?
Stanley Goodspeed: It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. Stops the brain from sending nerve messages down the spinal cord within thirty seconds. Any epidermal exposure or inhalation and you'll know. A twinge at the small of your back as the poison seizes your nervous system...

My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I need me eight soldiers. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. We're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only... killing Nazis.

Lt. Aldo Raine

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.

Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But - I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Westley: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

Edward Lewis: I think we both know she's not my niece.
Barney: Of course.
Edward Lewis: And the reason I know that is that I'm an only child.

Mitch: No longer will our penises be flaccid and unused.
Bruce: No longer we steal grandfather's porn.
Ox: No longer we will wear blindfolds while jerking each other off.

Well, well, well - looks like diplomacy has failed.

Col. Quaritch

[to Edward] We all know I'm hotter than you.

Jacob Black

The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.

Macaulay Connor

Harold: Back off cockboy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D.: Cockboy, you just call me cockboy?
Harold: Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling cuz you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D.: You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough!... Cockboy!

Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.

Demon

FREE Movie Newsletter