Kumar: How were Katie Holmes' tits?
Goldstein: You know the Holocaust?
Kumar: Yeah?
Goldstein: Picture the opposite of that!
Kumar: Nice!

President Andrew Shepherd: Do you know what your problem is?
Sydney Ellen Wade: What's my problem?
President Andrew Shepherd: Sex and nervousness.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Sex and nervousness is my problem?
President Andrew Shepherd: Yes.

Silas: [to Sophie] Do not move, woman.
[to Teabing]
Silas: Cripple, put the box on the table.
Sir Leigh Teabing: What, this trifle? Perhaps we can make a financial arrangement.
Silas: Put the keystone on the table.
Sir Leigh Teabing: You will not succeed. Only the worthy can unlock the stone.
[Silas turns gun on Teabing, pulls hammer back]

[getting drunk] First they take Ugarte and then she walks in. Well, I guess that's the way it goes... one out and one in.

Rick

Jimmy Smith Jr: Yo man, lets get the fuck outta here, I need some privacy man.
Cheddar Bob: Can I come?

William Parrish: Do you know about money?
Joe Black: It can't buy happiness?

Hotel Manager: Have you tried looking under the bed?
Meg Swan: Of course I've looked under the bed, of course I've looked under the bed. That's where you look when you lose things.

We can't bury Shelly. S-She's a friend of ours.

Ash

Bart: If Gertie could see the shit you've been pulling.
Ollie: Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.
Bart: That's right, she is. But you aint. And neither is that kid.

Christopher Gardner: [about the spelling error in the graffiti of a building] It's not "H-A-P-P-Y-N-E-S-S." Happiness is spelled with an "I" instead of a "Y."
Christopher: Oh, okay. Is "Fuck" spelled right?

Crush: Okay. Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper exiting technique.
Squirt: Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Okay, first crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a screaming bottom curve, so watch out. Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it.
Marlin: It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it. Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying. Say the first thing again.

I'm just lookin' for a little slap and pickle!

Barry Badrinath

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