Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder?
Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"!
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks.
Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.

Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout fine piece of ass?
Justice: How 'bout not.
Jay: Then what the fuck am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya big goof. Something nice.
Jay: Boo boo kitty fuck?
Justice: That's... a start.

Only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere.

Madeleine

You may have seen a meteor shower, but I bet you've never seen a shower "meatier" than this.

Sam Sparks

So, imagine if Jones had just said, "Well, that's okay, Charlie. That was all right. Good job." So Charlie thinks to himself, "Well, shit, I did do a pretty good job." End of story. No Bird. That to me is an absolute tragedy. But that's just what the world wants now. And they wonder why jazz is dying.

Terence Fletcher

Silence, village idiot!

Bobby

I care very much about aviation.

Howard Hughes

Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.

Anna: Why are you dressed?
Larry: Because I think you may be about to leave me and I didn't want to be wearing a dressing gown.

Edward Cullen: I only said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.
Isabella Swan: What does that mean?
Edward Cullen: It means if you're smart... you'll stay away from me.
Isabella Swan: I think you've made your opinion of the subject on my intellect clear, too.

Royal: Everyone's against me.
Pagoda: It's your fault, man.
Royal: I know but dammit, I want this family to love me. How much money you got?
Pagoda: I don't have.
Royal: What? You're broke? You gotta be kidding me! How are we gonna pay for this room?

Albus Dumbledore: Minister, the evidence of the Dark Lord's return is incontrovertible.
Cornelius Fudge: He's not back!

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