Eve Kendall: [Hanging by their fingers from Mount Rushmore] What happened with your first two marriages?
Roger Thornhill: My wives divorced me.
Eve Kendall: Why?
Roger Thornhill: They said I led too dull a life.

James Canter: The first time I heard you sing... I thought that it must be what angels sound like. Thought I died and gone to heaven.
Kelly Canter: I love that story.
James Canter: 'Cause it's true.

John: I might get a shag at last.
Judy: Naughty.

[evil smile] Shoot the glass.

Hans Gruber

Randolph Duke: Money isn't everything, Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Oh, grow up.
Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.
Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.

Andy: [hysterically] I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?
Brandon Walsh: You've got a great body.
Andy: How many more years do I have before I get all fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look like him?

Rabinowitz: What are you reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: It's not what I'd hoped for.

I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

Chip Douglas

Jane: I've heard police work is dangerous.
Frank: It is. That's why I carry a big gun.
Jane: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?
Frank: I used to have that problem.
Jane: What did you do about it?
Frank: I just think about baseball.

Pete: There are five chairs in this hotel room!
Ben Stone: That's WAY too many chairs for one hotel room!

Chris Farraday: I was hopin' you'd understand, it's family, maybe we could work somethin' out.
Tim Briggs: I'll give you two weeks. If not, I'm going to come after the both of you.

Wipe that smile off your face, you're a dead giveaway.

Julie Beckley

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