I married Rambo!

Helen Tasker

The world's first Jag mobile recording studio is done!

Steve

I barely recognize this country anymore, the government has us seeing communists in our soup.

Dean Charles Stanforth

Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!

Barf

Colonel Sandurz: That's much too early. Prepare to fast-forward!
Video Operator: Preparing to fast-forward!
Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward!
Video Operator: Fast-forwarding, sir!

Ben... Ben. Why didn't you tell me?

Luke

Linda: Hey, Ash! I guessed the card right!
Ash: Yeah... truly amazing.

A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.

Raoul Duke

You think you know the story of Dracula. You have no idea. But I'm going to show you. Drink Dracula.

Master Vampire

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.

Mexican Bandit

You need to have a little faith, Tibby. Not everyone you love is going to leave you.

Brian McBrian

Narrator: This is crazy...
Tyler Durden: People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it.

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