Victor Von Doom: Isn't it funny the way things turn out?
Reed Richards: Hilarious.

All I ask is that you keep up with me. If you can't, then that strange sensation you'll be feeling in the seat of your pants... will be my boot in your ass!

Capt. Ramsey

Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: Breast Reduction Surgery? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back-problems, man.

Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

Don't rub, blot it! You blot that shit!

Frank Lucas

Don't believe everything you hear on the radio.

Charles Foster Kane

I already schooled you once tonight homeboy. How many lessons you wanna learn?

DJ

Farmer #1: [sees Jack] Say... that the piss ant that used to ride the bulls?
Farmer #2: Used to try.

I know in my soul I contributed to your death.

Jimmy Markum

They don't get it. I can be invisible too.

Edwin

Lydia: Those three idiots crashed the party!
Mac: Who? The Kardashian girls?

He's a caca-poopoo

kid

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