I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you.

Dr. Evil

Ryan: Look, give me your phone or I shoot your car.
Lawyer: Oh, hell no, hell no. Why would you do something awful like that?

Landon: Listen, Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together?
Jamie: Okay, but just not so anybody knows, right?
Landon: Well I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get.
Jamie: Like we could be secret friends.
Landon: Exactly, exactly it's like you're reading my mind.
Jamie: Great umm... maybe you could read mine.
[she gives him a cold glare and turns away]
Landon: Jamie, Jamie I can't just be your friend.
Jamie: Landon, look, I thought I saw something in you, something good, but I was very wrong.

I'm no martyr. I did it for the money. But it's not worth much if you can't face yourself in the mirror. Respect is the ultimate currency. I was stealing from a man who traded his away for a few dollars. And then he tried to wash away his guilt. Drown it in a lifetime of good deeds and a sea of respectability. It almost worked, too. But inevitably, the further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you. And they do. Certain. It will not fail.

Dalton Russell

I am a sexy beast.

Austin Powers

Trinity: I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.

People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, "Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society." Now that's deep.

J.D.

Jack Vincennes: What do you want, Exley?
Ed Exley: I just wanna solve this thing.
Jack Vincennes: The Nite Owl was solved.
Ed Exley: No, I wanna do it right.
Jack Vincennes: Even if it means paying the consequences?

Holy shit, a talking beaver!

Lucy

This shit's bananas!

Troy

In Mexico, law enforcement is an entrepreneurial activity.

Eduardo Ruiz

I know in my soul I contributed to your death.

Jimmy Markum

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