Morgan: Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all fucking bombed and been drinking. What the fuck is she gonna think about us?
Will: Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.

Squirt: Whoa! That was so cool! Hey dad! Did you see that? Did you see me? Did you see what I did?
Crush: You so totally rock, Squirt! So gimme some fin.
[they slap fins]
Crush: Noggin'.
[bump heads]
Both: Dude!

Look, it's growing so fast.


O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

Carl Showalter

Wolverine: Felt like she killed me.
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier: If she held on any longer, she could have.

Do I go in with you?


And you really believe that just because you publish children's books, people care about my reputation? You can have pictures of me wearing nipple rings, butt fucking Captain Kangaroo. The only thing they care about is the stock and whether that stock is up or down!


Olivia Wenscombe: He says that it's even between you.
Robert Angier: Even? My wife for a few of his fingers?

I almost lost old Skip that day. Even as he was sleeping on the operating table, he was still teaching me. That day, I became a young man. Why, in childhood and youth, we wish time to pass so quickly. We want to grow up so fast. Yet, as adults, we wish just the opposite.


Manny: Why is it called the "Gorge of Death"?
Buck: We tried calling it "The Big Smelly Crack" but people kept giggling.

Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!

Nathan Arizona Sr.

Day one thousand and one. I am still unable to transfer my immunity to infected hosts.


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