Tibby: I brought something for you... ta da.
Bailey: The Traveling Pants.
Tibby: Yeah, I just got them back, from Lena.
Bailey: The one in Greece.
Tibby: Yeah, she said that we were right all along and that the pants are magic and I don't know the details but I do know Lena and for her to say that means... that it must be true... so I was thinking that maybe you could have them for a while.
Bailey: They don't fit me, remember?
Tibby: [in tears] Yeah, I know, but that doesn't matter... none of it really matters... you have to take them, Bailey... okay, you have to let them help you... please. I know that you're tired, okay, but you can't give up, the Pants will give you a miracle, you have to believe.
Bailey: The Pants have already worked their magic on me. They brought me to you.

[Joe wants to move out from Norma's house] No one ever leaves a star...

Norma Desmond

Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's great? Why don't you feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.
John Beckwith: What?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean what? What a great friend. John, you have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. There's no overtime.
John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.
Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very family-oriented girl.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!

[to newsreel camera] And I promise you I'll never desert you again because after 'Salome' we'll make another picture and another picture. You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!... All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

Norma Desmond

Shit, you guys, I have never had straight friends before!


Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well, perhaps we could ask them.

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln

I confess that I have no desire to confess.

Walt Kowalski

I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant here.

Marcee Tidwell

Is love a fancy or a feeling... or a Ferrars?


Bond: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q: That's putting it mildly, 007!

"Shot in the back by Buford Tannen, over a matter of 80 dollars." What kind of future do you call that?

Young Doc

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