You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.

Trent

At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.

Dale

Brace yourself; it's like talking to those two old fucks from The Muppets.

Jack O'Donnell

Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still have not received my paycheck and they moved my desk to storage room B and there was... garbage on it.

Milton Waddams

Okay, I'm leaving now, go smoke some pot or something. I'll be there soon.

Elle Driver

Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.

Ms. Griggs

Lester Burnham: You don't think it's kinda weird and fascist?
Carolyn Burnham: Possibly, but you don't want to be unemployed.
Lester Burnham: Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way.

We have a squeaker today, class. His name is Andrew Nieman, he's 19 years old. Isn't he cute?

Terence Fletcher

Joy McNally: The topping I wanted on my popcorn. I know the box said it's movie theater butter, but you guessed it. What I really want is sweaty Jack's balls flavor.
Jack Fuller: I'm just giving you what you want, baby.

Admiral Benson: I slipped on a crab. Who put that crab there?
Lt. Commander Block: I don't see any crab, sir.
Admiral Benson: Don't tell me. There were two crabs. They work in pairs. I went to Annapolis for chrissakes!

A deer has to be taken with one shot. I try to tell people that but they don't listen.

Michael

[to Andy] You sold your soul to the devil when you put on your first pair of Jimmy Choo's, I saw it.

Emily

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